In early August I was fortunate enough to be able to head to Pride Camp in Gorham, New Hampshire (at Horton Center; thanks to the NH Conference of the United Church of Christ!). For me, being a counselor at this camp for younger LGBTQIA+ folks was a dream come true. Besides the fact that I got to live out my vocational call for those three nights, I got to do so in one of my favorite geographic locations – the White Mountains. Many people I work with in churches do not realize that my original call to seminary was related to my nudge to serve youth who were working through their religious identity in relation to their sexual orientation and / or gender identity and vice versa.

The leading photo here captures so much of the experience; it was at the worship service we had on Chapel Rock; in the background to the right the fog rises and falls in and throughout the Great Gulf Wilderness, one of the most beautiful and mysterious places I have ever seen in all of my travels. Every time I see the cross constructed out of two smaller balsam trees, I imagine how many times the cross has needed to be replaced over the years due to the inclement weather in the White Mountains. I think about how the cross needing to be reconstructed periodically represents the comings and goings of faith life; we often have to start over or rebuild on what has fallen over.

Besides the lovely food, fun crafts, meaningful worship, and simple fellowship we had during Pride Week, I also got to experience Wiffle ball with shaving cream. If you are a youth leader of any sort and you have not yet heard of this then I beg of you – take notes here. In the novel game, “Shaving Cream Wiffle Ball,” the pitcher cleverly and consistently squeezes shaving cream into the ball before tossing it to the batter. As the batter takes a swing and cracks into the ball, the shaving cream shoots out in each and every direction. If you are playful at all, this game needs to be added to your bucket list. I do not think I have had so much fun in quite some time! Another added benefit of this irresistible and unnecessary game is that rather than being stinky after playing you smell like shaving cream. Admittedly, though, not everyone loves that smell.

The two latter photos were taken on the top of Pine Mountain during our last evening together; because the weather was a bit wet that week, we were all grateful to have a chance to sleep on the ledge. I was especially glad that we were a small group – there was an abundance of good places to splay out my sleeping spot. I got as close to the edge as I could this time – while this may sound terrifying to many people, I found it to be delightful and invigorating. The sunset was – well, there are no words to describe it; the photo captures it a bit but there is more to be said when the view joins in concert with the forest going to sleep, slowly but surely. As the sun went to its rest, so too did our group. We prayed, sang, read a bedtime story and tossed and turned until the wee hours of the morning. While I love a good night’s sleep, I will prioritize an opportunity like this, at least as long as my body allows.

Again, for those three nights, this Queer Theologian was living the dream. I hope to return next year. As we were all getting ready to leave, I younger LGBTQIA+ folks told me and other volunteers how much it meant to them that there was an abundance of rainbow flags and opportunities for people to talk about ‘gay stuff,’ alongside matters of faith. I cannot help but to generally think back to all of the overt and subvert anti-gay rhetoric I heard at camps, youth groups, and then in campus ministries at university. Having been asked to leave as a worship leader with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship upon my first coming out, my heart broke; I knew that God held me in my full authentic self, but how could I convince other people? For now and in my years to come, what I can do is: hold the cross and the rainbow. God has not asked me to set aside any part of who I am.

I am trying to move past the fact that it has been 2-3 years since I have posted on here. It is not that my commitment to one day attempt a thru-hike of the AT has waned, it is just that parish ministry is as much a trudge as Mahoosuc Notch. Don’t believe me? That is okay; one day – when it is more appropriate, I will be able to tell my story with the appropriate amount of hindsight and perspective.

Because the trudge of ministry in a solo position got to be so isolating and difficult, I decided to make a move for my family. This move set me back 6-12 months from what would have been my start date for the AT, but I feel okay about it. I’m now in a setting that is much different; there is the fact that it is urban rather than rural, but that is just the beginning. Time will tell how all goes but for now I have started a countdown in my phone for my start of the AT – 1283 days until I hit the trail in GA and 888 days until I let the vestry know that I have one year before I do so. It does put things in perspective. At this point I know that the rest of the first year here will likely fly by. Beyond that, it is hard to say what ministry in this setting will be like. I definitely miss being beside the White Mountains on a daily basis, but I’m glad to still just be less than two hours from them.

This picture of Knife’s Edge was taken in 2019. This part of the AT (northern terminus) is awe-inspiring. I hope to visit again next summer or at least by 2025. It is an amazing hike and I definitely want to make it before I try the thru hike. Did I mention that I am also going to be trying to do the thru hike in only 4 months? We’ll see how this goes. It is time for me to start getting more fit; that is for sure. I am well aware I may not be able to complete the AT in 4 months, but I can try!

With hope, always, Sammy (oh yes – I have come out as non-binary since I last posted.)

PS – the other dream – I’m starting a project on the side (“Church of The Trails.”) Basically, the idea is for an event based church body where we ask ourselves: How have we, as Christ Followers, spent time with God’s earth in the past week or month to heal the world, including ourselves?

For a super short queer gear review, find me on Instagram – preachersaraholla. For thoughts and more thorough review, keep reading!

On July 2nd, I was Long Trail bound. The Long Trail in Vermont is where the concept of the Appalachian Trail began years ago. Along the way, I picked up a couple of new trail names thanks to a thru-hiker I met that goes by WontGetUp. She was really rad. She first said, “I have an easy one if you don’t have one – Rev.” I explained my concept of QT (Queer Theologian) Hiker or just QT and she explained to me with all honesty and care that she simply did not see the name as something all hikers can handle. I decided her point was strong – Rev is likely more palpable for many people. I’ll save QT Hiker for those who I know can handle all of that / this. I am Rev, a Queer Theologian Hiker.

She also thought I could be called Carwash the Mystical Racoon. And just now I realized I could also spell Mystical like the rapper from the early 2000s – Mystikal. That could be fun. This one, however, was quickly vetoed by a number of other people present at Stratton Pond shelter.

Before I get into the majesty that was the AT the past few days, I figure it is time for me to qualify what it means to be a Queer Theologian Hiker.

First Queer – Yes, this word is loaded for a lot of people. However, for many young(ish) LGBTQ people it is the most inclusive way of identifying as gender variant and possibly gay or lesbian. Some queer people do not accept labels like lesbian and gay because those terms have often been pitted against other groups. It is a bummer. I identify as a queer / gender variant and gender non-conforming lesbian. In hiker speak, that means I’m the person who generally looks like she doesn’t belong in the women’s or men’s section at REI. There are A LOT of us. A LOT. I plan to try and do something about that. We should have a section, even if it was online.  

Sure, queer can mean strange or odd. I hope to be queer in the absurd way – the positively absurd way. Like an abstract painting that seems off but is so noticeably perfect. Or . . . like a flying squirrel who is resilient and brave! Queer is not within the norm, it is outside the norm though sometimes hidden.

And, of course, queer, in this blog, means of the LGBTQIA+ type. No, I do not want to tell you want that means. If you have to ask, ask someone else. You would, however, likely figure it out based on context clues in this blog – so keep reading!

Okay – I hope Queer is making sense. Let me see if I can make some sense out of theologian. As a theologian, I am expected to speak some sense about God or experiences of the Divine, which I do hold to be ever present. I am a Trinitarian Christian, seeing God as revealed through Creator / parent / mother / father, Son / Jesus, and Holy Spirit. Theology is literally ‘talk about God.’

So, as the QT Hiker I take my queer experiential lens to theology which I find to be so very present on the Appalachian Trail and other trails like it! If you want to read up on Queer Theory, I suggest Judith Butler. If you want to read up on Queer Theology, I suggest Patrick Cheng. There are many others – hit up Google Scholar for more sources – they abound. If you do so, be ever aware of which voices are being honored / utilized. It affects the narrative and it matters.

As I took to Stratton Mountain this week, it became clear, once again, that God cannot be missed in the wilderness. You would think that with people like Thoreau and so many other contemplatives reminding us about the importance of the natural world we wouldn’t need to harp on this, but our earth is in trouble. It is clear that we need to be reminded of how God is made known through the trees, the air, the dirt, the rocks, the roots, the insects, the spiders, the chipmunks — ALL the members of these delicate ecosystems. Because of this fact, I’ll keep advocating for queer gear and providing reviews as I continue to seek happy trails.  

Queer gear reviews

My main highlights for this review are of the Osprey Kestrel 48L pack and the REI youth L 650 fill down jacket. The pack is great – its pockets, its fits, its look, everything about it. I am not sure which gender it is ‘supposed’ to be assigned to but for us queer folx, this does not really matter. The dark red is perfectly androgynous. It doesn’t have me leave my gender identity at the trail head.

The REI youth L 650 fill down jacket was just great for the morning I woke up. To be cozy with the chill of the morning was super nice, super valuable. If you are a petite queer, you are lucky because the youth gear will be more affordable. If you are not petite, best of luck – REI (and most other companies) have not caught onto full gender inclusion. I would guess that the women’s and men’s are decent but not as good a financial deal and possibly not as queer a fit. Test out your options. Always, always, #queerit . . . In theory, the jacket would serve as a pillow. I did not find that as helpful. I will be taking my Marmot pillow next time, coming in at 1.2 oz. I believe it will be worth the weight.

My consigned Swatch Watch gets honorable mention for gear that is not usually seen as gear. It also reads as ‘queer’ in my opinion, which matters. If you don’t identify as queer and you are wearing one. . . . got ya. 

Queer food mentions go to Alpine Start’s Coconut Creamer Latte. I was able to make 2 cups of coffee out of one packet and did not have to sacrifice my commitment to a more plant-based diet. Similarly, Mountain House Brand’s Pasta Primavera was just absolutely delicious. I will definitely be having that again – hopefully I’ll find a vegan one soon! If you are wondering where I get my protein . . . plants have protein. Also, the earth needs us and having a more plant-based diet is one of the simplest (and most affordable) ways to reduce your ecological footprint.

The SpotX gets an A++ for giving peace of mind. I really enjoyed being able to check in with my sweetie and mom during my adventure. Unfortunately, it did seem like the battery life was kind of poor. Only time will tell. Generally, I like it! SpotX is the two-way Spot GPS system. It could help with loneliness, to which all humans are susceptible.

Oh yeah – final review – Guthooks. It made map life way easier. You can download super specific trails for wherever you are hiking. Guthook’s Long Trail download was immensely helpful to me.  

Final review – HIT THE TRAIL. Search for wisdom in the woods, be yourself and have fun.

Thanks for reading!

• Rev / QT Hiker / Carwash the Mystical Raccoon.

In July of 2018, I woke up for the first time quite close to the Appalachian Trail (I had slept just off trail near Mt. Greylock). I did not know where my next 16 ounces of water was going to come from, I was tired, I had realized I knew nothing about ‘base weight,’ and I was worried. It was the best anxiety of my entire life. I should say I have biked in Boston and guided people on 3 hour canopy / zipline tours. Backpacking was better than both. As I found water that morning and approached my car on the final descent, I could not wait until my next journey. Almost 12 months later, here I am. The Queer Theologian Hiker. I should say, a queer theologian hiker (we are everywhere, after all). My trail name will be QT starting this summer when I take to the Appalachian Trail. I have a grand dream, one that I dare not type on to this page. 

The morning I woke up inside my awesome Marmot tent and then first encountered another human, they did not know my gender. I am fine with that conundrum, but other people do not seem to be. We ended up having a great conversation; he was an idealistic SOBO (south bound thru-hiker). I just hold those gender variant moments with care and tact – at least as best as I am able. Since my obsession of the Appalachian Trail has developed, I have discovered that there is not enough trail writing specific for queer people. This page serves a dual purpose: 1) to be a resource for queer hikers and backpackers and 2) to offer theological reflection pertaining to my own lived experience of the Appalachian Trail. I will include reviews of gear, notes about hiking and backpacking and general reflections that relate to spirituality and my own Christian faith. I hope you enjoy some of this! 

As Matt & Kim sing: “Let’s go!” 

“If I have a faith that can move mountains, but I do not have love, I am nothing.” 1st Corinthians 13:2b